I have been receiving yearly mammograms since I turned 39 and July of each year I go in for my yearly mammogram. Those of you who follow my blog may know that last year I wrote about my experience finding a lump in my breast. Well, here it is a year later and I have another experience to share.
I went in for a routine mammogram a week ago and I was told that the radiologist observed something suspicious. They called my doctor who referred me to a breast specialist/surgeon. I was told that I needed a surgical biopsy. I felt as if someone kicked me in my chest. I could not breathe.
Confused, I ran the events that occurred a year ago over and over in my head. Last July, a cyst was found in my right breast. I had a mammogram and ultrasound to confirm this. The doctor told me that I didn't have to do anything about it and that cysts are common and come and go. Well, my cyst didn't go away. But, I wasn't worried about it because it felt the same as it had when it was initially discovered. Nonetheless, this year I made it a point to have my mammogram on time without delay. I really thought that they were going to tell me that the cyst was unchanged. Instead, they were referring me to a surgeon.
A week prior to my appointment with the surgeon, I spoke to my spiritual adviser. I was worried sick and upset that I was in that space considering all of the challenges I have been enduring over the last few years. And she told me that I needed to get my faith up and I needed to keep pushing and not skip a beat. I asked, "How do you keep going and not skip a beat when you could possibly have breast cancer?" She responded, "You must have faith that whatever happens it is in God's plan and for the greater good. So, what if it's cancer? What does that mean? If you are His then you fully understand that this life is not yours. You live according to His plan, not your plan. You are lacking in faith. And I can tell you are because we are having this conversation. Fear and worry are sins. God wants us to have joy. Yes, we will have trials and tribulations, but if we really trust in Him and if we are really His, then we shalt not worry." Then she went on to say that God told her that what was seen on the mammogram and ultrasound was a shadow.
Well, when I went in to meet with the surgeon, he told me that he believed that it was a cyst. I explained that my doctor discovered a cyst last year, that it is still there and this year the radiologist told me that there was something next to it. He said it was all one cyst. He described it as "two small bubbles next to each other like a barbell." (I would have a cyst that looks like a barbell). The surgeon explained that he wanted to aspirate the cyst just to be sure.
I went to the surgeon today for the aspiration procedure. I sat there awaiting my appointment and I observed several women who had lost their hair. Some wore some sort of hat or covering, others fully embraced their baldness. Observing this made my heart ache. It's funny how life can change in a second. But, I was calm and at peace. Some things in life we cannot control. We just have to trust God and roll with it. And do so with joy and thanksgiving.
Oh, it was in fact a cyst. The doctor drained it and now it's gone. Praise God!
Ladies, make sure you get your annual mammograms!
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